My Hair Journey.

A little over 3 years ago my hair journey began (it showed up in my time hop today so here I am)!   I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was 7 months pregnant with Lyla.  I was putting my hair up half way and saw a little bald spot (about the size of a dime) near my hairline by my forehead.  I was in a hurry to get somewhere (I don't remember where) so I didn't think much of it.  I actually thought it was part of the pregnancy because its not uncommon for women to loose hair AFTER pregnancy so I thought maybe mine came a little early.  The day went on and the more I thought about it I decided I should have Erik check for more spots.  Although, I really didn't think he would find any.  As he looked through my head I could feel my heart beating fast, hoping he wasn't going to say anything (not uncommon for Erik, bless his heart) or see anything.  Then, I heard him gasp, "Oh my gosh".  I thought he was kidding, I literally said, "shut up, you're joking".  He said, "No really, you have a huge spot back here".  It took a minute to sink in and I wanted to know exactly what he was talking about so I had him take a picture of the spot.  It was literally the size of a baseball....a baseball people, how did we not notice this before???  I immediately broke down.  Of course I thought the worse, I have cancer?  Why does our mind always tend to wonder to what could possibly be the worst case scenario?!  I immediately called my doctor.  It was after hours so I had to wait for a nurse to call me back.  Of course when the nurse finally called back, she acted like it was "part of the pregnancy".  Anyways, months after visits to the doctors and dermatologists, I was diagnosed with alopecia areata, which is loss of hair in round areas of the scalp.  It is an autoimmune disorder where the body attacks your hair follicles which stops hair growth.  I was told my hair could never come back, it could come back and fall out again (many, many times), or this could be a one time deal.  However, I was still convinced that it had everything to do with pregnancy and as soon as Lyla came out, my hair would all grow back.  Ha.  Wishful thinking.

After the diagnosis I cried many tears, wondered "why me", became angry at God, was embarrassed about my looks, the list goes on.  I tried to hide the baldness for months with hats and I struggled with getting my haircut because I didn't want to loose what little I had left.  But one day I did it anyways.  THAT was a hard day.  I had never cried about a hair cut (I was always confident it would grow back in no time if I didn't like it) but this cut just wasn't me.  I was (still am) the girl who likes to wear my hair up in a ponytail, that's just how I roll :)

Through this, I've grown in my FAITH tremendously.  I've learned that you never know what people are going through.  To not care what other people think.  To remain hopeful and to trust in God's plan.  Easier said than done.  I had to convince myself for a while that it would be fine.  What if my hair didn't grow back?  What if it kept falling out?  No matter what my hair decided to do, I was certain about this, God is good ALL.THE.TIME.

It's been over three years and God has put hair back on my head, thank you Jesus!  It hasn't grown fast like it did before this journey but its growing and for that, I'm grateful.  It still falls out in clumps (every morning) but I have not had a visible bald spot (at least to most people) in a long time.  I still struggle with my hair style because short hair is not my thing, but it works.  I can get it in a pony tail....can I get a HALLELUJAH?  Whoop Whoop!  Its super thick at my roots and thin the longer it gets towards the ends.  Weird.  But people, I've got hair on my head.  I wasn't sure if that day would ever come again.  I was prepared to wear a wig my whole life.  Sike.  Those things suck.  I would rather be bald.  But for real, I am so thankful.

Although, I've grown so much through this (not vertically), I can't go as far and say I WOULDN'T change a thing (I think people lie about that anyways).  BUT, this is MY story and its part of who I am.  Now, enjoy my hair journey pictures.  

All was well at 12 weeks pregnant.....dun dun dun.  

This is the first spot I noticed on November 9, 2013.

This is the picture that Erik took the same night he found the "baseball" size spot. 

3 months later......February 19, 2014   

Sorry, this is gross.  I'm not gonna lie, I was scared to wash my hair a lot because that's when it would fall out the most. 

My first trim.  My little ponytail...poor thing.  

My first solution was a wig.  I'm wearing it in this picture and below.  

My hat wearing' days.

March 26, 2014...A little over a month later, I had a little growth.  This was after using topical cream from the dermatologist.  The cream was the best option since I was pregnant at the time.  

June 2014.

After Lyla was born I was able to get steroid shots!  They were injected in my scalp in every bald spot.  Depending on the size of the bald spot, I got up to 20-30 injections in some.  Not the best feeling in the world but tolerable.  This is what happened in less than a month :)  

How it looked in a pony tail.  I ended up stopping the steroids after about 2 rounds.  They made me C.R.A.Z.Y.  I couldn't sleep and when I did, I dreamed about killing people.  

This was in August of 2014 (9 months into my journey), the day after I got my hair cut off.  I hated it.

This was taken over a year after my haircut.  My hair was definitely growing but s.s.s.s.l.l.l.l.o.o.o.o.w.w.w.w.w.l.l.l.l.l.y.y.y.y.y.

October 2015

November 2015.

What a difference a year makes!  Our Christmas card from 2014 and 2015.  

April 2016.  Not a huge difference from above.  It grows in spurts for some reason.

June 2016

October 2016.  

Christmas 2016.  

Throwback to 2011.  

I can't WAIT for this day again...to have long hair.  Please Lord, I'll be good :)  

Thank you all for sharing my journey with me!  I cannot thank my family and friends enough for the daily motivation to go through this journey.  This blog has been beyond helpful to share my feelings and even to help others going through the same things.  

*Disclaimer:  Ladies, it is completely normal to loose some hair after giving birth.  I did with Gage.  This was like beyond excessive hair loss, clumps of hair and obvious bald spots.  I've had women contact me after reading my blog because they were scared their hair was falling out.  Hang in there, being a momma is worth it :)